Here you are, sitting in front of the screen, applying for yet another job offer, how many there have been so far? 10? 15? 100? Yes… it is easy to lose a count…after a couple of months of fruitless searching, your initial enthusiasm is kind of diminishing if is not already gone.
This is completely normal, looking for a job is like having a job you don’t like which no one is paying for unless you are the lucky one who is supported by some scarce governmental schemes.
Why we all suffer quietly? I don’t see any support for the job seekers and we all need to know we are not alone and having ups and a lot of downs is an everyday life reality.
What I can find on-line are the guidelines on how to write a spotless resume, how confident we all must be (or at least appear to be) during the job interview, what to say, what to avoid, how to dress and smile. Yes, good, all important but why we are not advised on how to preserve sanity during job searching time?
How to nourish our self-esteem and confidence? These are the characteristics it’s impossible to show only for the interview’s sake because even if we try and do something very well like Al Pacino or Marlon Brando in the Goodfather – meaning top-level acting we are going to fail (no offence). There is only 1 right solution – to be confident and have a high self – esteem.
Let’s exchange the ideas on how to develop growth during a challenging time. How to maintain a good relationship with ourselves? How to admire ourselves?
As I asked you to engage, please let me expose my idea. I remember frenetically looking for a job in a foreign country for 4 months. I was applying every day for the jobs at the beginning in my sector, later on expanding to aerospace even. Why not? Maybe they need some logistics skill on the spacecraft? This is more or less the level of despair and determination I was in.
What kept me smiling and sane?
1. A routine, you need to get up early, have a morning time just for you, mine was to have a coffee, go for a run, have a shower and then applying for the jobs
2. Sport – as already mentioned, going for a run helped me release anxiety I was feeling almost all the time
3. Having a passion which helps you relax and forget about the worries. For me, it was running and reading.
4. A healthy diet, sitting at home, without a clear goal makes you visit the fridge far too often, make sure you eat healthily, only then the body is strong and ready to fight for us
Let face it, all above have already been advised by some other job-seeking portals or blogs. There is nothing innovative about those approaches. That is why I want to do a step further and advise on other techniques you might be interested in if you want to do more for yourself and to boost your self-esteem.
Self-confidence is easy to confuse with audacity or arrogance, while the former is distinguished by a stabilized system of values and uninterrupted faith in one’s abilities, the latter traits are the result of the attempt to hide the lack of self-confidence under the chatter of too loud or too artificial behaviour. Self-confidence is an expression of our attitude towards ourselves, do we like ourselves, respect ourselves, know ourselves? Each of us is aware that there are many factors influencing how we see each other and how we judge ourselves. We are influenced by them all our lives, until today. Most of them are external factors, our environment, family, friends, work. Until the age of 6, children absorb knowledge from the environment, children’s brains are focused on receiving information from the environment, not on its analysis. The point is to „arm” the youngest members of society with the necessary tools so they could become a part of society. As a result of this evolutionary strategy fully functioning value system is given for life when we are just children. This “uploaded” information will always be present in most of the decisions we make through our lives. It is no longer a secret that 95% of all our decisions are being made with a subconscious in which a pre-loaded value system is embedded.
95% of the 70,000 daily thoughts are a repetitive mixture of thoughts from previous days. So, if we were lucky and in childhood, we were „programmed” with positive programs based on self-respect and love, these programs work to our advantage. If, on the other hand, we were not so lucky and, as children, we heard phrases such as: „you can’t do anything properly”, „look at yourself how you look”, „I’m ashamed of you!”, „You don’t deserve it!”, „Money does not grow on trees! ”. Then, without even realizing it, we run these programs as adults. When you say to yourself „I’m not good enough to get it”, „I’m not worth being loved”, „money is hard to come by and you have to work hard for it.” These are limiting beliefs, and they are already so fused with our sense of „I” that they do not seem to be just beliefs but general truths that are permanent and always will be. They seem natural to us because they were „loaded” into our subconsciousness as a child and form part of our character. Until recently, it was thought that it was extremely difficult to change these beliefs, but there is light at the end of the tunnel for all who feel limited and feel that their true potential has not yet been discovered. Currently, in the literature, both psychology and mindfulness can be found several tools that allow you to overcome the negative impact of beliefs by neutralizing them. The purpose of this article is to inform you about these tools, and if you feel ready, it’s worth a try.
One of the first authors to explain the intricate topics of biology, epigenetics and psychology in a very simple way is Dr Bruce Lipton, „Biology of Belief”. It is a detailed study of cell structure and genetic expression that explains epigenetics, its consequences and our role in the process of building new proteins. It is exciting reading for anyone interested in the scientific explanation of every day little miracles that happen in our bodies.
The next reading, which gives a refreshing perspective on our well known day to day is a book by the very famous author William Whitecloud, “Secrets of Natural Success”, which introduces us to techniques of overcoming negative beliefs embedded in us through meditation and directing our attention to the future that we can shape by devoting ourselves to spiritual exercises.
It is also worth getting acquainted with the topic presented by the psychology doctor Garry A. Flint, the book is entitled: „A Theory and Treatment of Your Personality” is the fruit of the doctor’s 20 years of work experience with his patients. In his book, he proves that the subconscious mind is an impartial and silent observer of all events in our lives, including those that took place in our mother’s womb. Due to the fact that the subconscious knows everything, it can be our ally in the treatment of certain personality traits that we believe require treatment. For example, fear of heights, spiders or more complex and challenging problems like schizophrenia. Usually, traumas in our lives are emotional memories that come back like a boomerang when exposed to a stressful situation. Dr Flint’s book is on how to get to the bottom of the problem, a past situation that caused the trauma, and turn the negative emotions that accompany the experience into neutral or positive emotions experienced at a given moment. Dr Flint describes in a very methodical way a process that can help many of us deal with negative beliefs.
Based on a very close collaboration with Dr Flint, Ms Colette Streicher has developed a complete coaching system for everyone who would like to try this innovative way to feel better in their skin. Please find the link to the website below:
I cannot omit Dr Joe Dispenza, who is a neurobiologist by training and who has brain scan evidence of how 4-day intensive meditation courses create new neural connections in the brain and the expression of new genes responsible for the immune system in our body. Joe Dispenza is a book author, coach, speaker. He argues that each of us is an unlimited creator of our lives and that each of us can fulfil our innermost dreams. In the book „Becoming Supernatural”, he explains what the place of the human in the world is and how we can positively influence our own life. I find the title misleading because it does not point to much scientific evidence that the author puts forward to support his theories. So please don’t get confused by the title.
In turn, Dr Deepak Chopra is a well-known author of over 40 books. If you are looking for tranquility from the everyday hustle and bustle, a slightly different perspective on the world around you, reach for the book „Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.” It is a non-invasive way to slowly change the current perception of the world.
Generally, all of the above authors have one thing in common that they wish to convey; it is not a competition and constant outdoing each other that will heal society, but cooperation and supporting each other in our daily problems and worries. Finding a job is sometimes a long process that requires mutual support and not only looking for better and better tools to outdo each other.
Summarizing, before we can help or support others, we should look after ourselves and get to know ourselves better. Only then, knowing how great creatures we are, being in love with ourselves would allow us to truly embrace others and help or support them if needed.